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hello im back!

hello actually its benn quite long since i updated! so many things has been happening, no time to go online, no time for this, no money for that. how irritating!

i really wanna do lotsa stuff and until now ive not been able to do them, one of them's drumming lessons. i really need to improve in a lotta ways in that aspect, esp my timing, its a lil off sometimes esp when we recorded that day, i realised that it can get slighty off beat. its good that we made a point to record so that we can track our progression.

okay about emrye, peter left us ): not cos there were some probs between us but cos it just wasnt the band he was looking for, and we had to search for a new guitarist and we found matthew! yayy, he's this tall and really shou (skinny) dude. that has the expression :O all the time haha. well i think weve improved a lot as a band and we're now trying to hit the stage and reach performance level. but first we wont wanna go there and give pple chui standard, so we've gotta really brush up on tightness and to make lesser mistakes and even better, none at all.

apart from that we've gotta really brush up on our own individual skills too. i reckon that i really need more practise which mean i need more time too. lesser suppers, more practise means more money too. and also means drum lessons soon! its really hard to progress somehow if you dont have anyone or anything to track your progress (as a band and as an individual member) recording practises will help a lot more.

ive kinda been letting go, not really keeping track of my daily budget but its still cool cos at least the govts giving me money, a stable income.

and yeah, in a few days im gonna be in a different unit, sometimes i really dread changes, its like you dont know whats gonna happen and you've gotta adapt and be flexible. im gonna really miss eating sleeping and idling. its time to be serious and repair rovers and tunners properly (if i know how).

had two small performances at trainee's day and at the officer's mes few days back, the one at trainee's day i was drumming to a crowd of like i dont know, a lot? and i was freaking nervous, dont know what i was doing actually, cant hear the rest of the members properly too. its been along time since i drummed on stage cos mostly now im actually jamming and doing self practise, one thing to worry and dread about when we hit the stage is the nervousness you'll get. butterflies in your stomach! it'll really slow down your reaction and you'll feel as if your wrists and fingers cant move that fast, and you'll not know what to do!

the second one was slightly better but i was guitaring instead, cos shifting my drumset from home to camp was too much of a trouble although the "captain jason guy" did offer to send me back and forth. kinda lazy and troublesome at the same time.

so we did it, a few mistakes here and there, i did play a wrong chord i think haha but we did have fun, with beer, black jack and a roulette table, not to mention massage too! awesomeness. for that i think we do deserve 3 1/2 days off in total. great stuff man!

good stuff wont last forever so yeah its time to work hard from now on, drumming, in camp and in many many other aspects like reducing my expenses by a lot! i think emrye can really go far if we really work hard and commit to our own practises and techniques in and out of the studio!

"dont be discouraged at the mistakes you make, but learn from them and grow"

thai express got 70% discount leh!

thanks guys for everything!

i really didnt expect that it'll be such a nice birthday afterall. and sorry for the previous emo posts! i am really feeling much better already! emrye, you guys rock man! from the birthday song all the way to the cake, i really enjoyed myself to the fullest! :)

okay let me run through what exactly happened. today was jamming day and peter couldnt make it for jamming. think he had some impt stuff to handle at home. i really had fun but it'll definitely be much much better with peter around. the classic fold up jeans and slippered shoes! haha so cute. we met for jamming as usual at tiet, and btw jamming wasnt that good cos there were some probs with the mixer and it was really quite irritating. then all the way till the last song, they surprisedly sang the birthday song then i tried to just play along haha quite fun ah. and so i thought that was it cos after jamming the rest said they werent free except ph. audrey had to go teach piano and corrinne had to meet her mom for some reason! they're really good actors man. everything was properly planned from the start!

i went home, left my snare and pedal at home and headed to ps to thai express. ph told me there was a 70% for the first 5 times cos youre a member, yeah right lor haha. he made that up so that id just go there for dinner with him. and when i was there i thought i saw 3 weird idiots covering themselves with the menu! but it was audrey, corrinne and melvin (william). really cock lah i tell you haha. so we chatted and ordered and i had curry softshell crab, wha not bad la actually.

and after that was the cake, another surprise once more, man im gonna be suffering from an overdose of surprises already! we had pandan cake from bengawan solo! very nice eh, its not those kind the spongy pandan cake you get from giant for 2 bucks leh, its the really nicely made greenish one. super nice! we walked around and had our dai dee session somewhere at a corner of somewhere. ph was haolianing abt him winning 4 times in a row lor and i kept losing haha.

after that we just lepaked at cityhall then we went home. thanks again guys! really appreciate what you guys did for me, the effort and all the planning plus especially when you guys are broke, you guys still got me a nice zildjian cap and the nice homemade card! audrey says the cap makes my head look smaller, haha.

p.s. i really did enjoy myself, it's really one of the best birthdays ive had for a very long time! love you guys! :)

p.p.s. and peter, although you really couldnt make it, thanks still! you the best guitarist ive ever worked with ;) 



you thought of me.

okay if ure wondering why there're 2 posts in a day, its cos things really got worse.

i got really really pissed just now when i got my hp bills and there was like extra 81 bucks cos of the gprs usage but my dad's trying to waive the fee for that. the atmosphere at home was really tensed just now and i kinda just walked away while they were nagging at me. really couldnt take it much longer.

my dad came into my room and actually asked me out for supper late saturday night so i agreed. then we talked a bit and i told what happened throughout the day and i kinda broke down. my dad knew how i felt and i really felt very comforted by the simple things he said. idk but it made a lot of difference when someone that's important to me comes to talk about it and listen. it really makes a difference. thanks dad.

kinda just took out my guitar and strummed some simple chords. and this song came into my mind.


Above all by Michael W. Smith 

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

its a simple song but yet very impactful to me. it reminded me of easter just a few weeks back and i was really encouraged. how jesus died, how he felt was really a million times more than how im feeling right now. he thought of me.

thank you jesus, i love you.


this is really very fucked up.

i reached home, put on a nice smile to my parents and calling them. and what i got from them is a super black face from both my dad and mom. i really dont know whats happening. dont they appreciate me for doing the stuff that i do for them and my brother? it was really difficult for me to get an off and i even got pumped and reprimanded for my superiors today for some really lame reason that wasnt even my fault to start with. im not being defensive here. cos ive already asked if it was my mistake and whether im finding excuses for myself. i could have easily forfeited my off and enjoy myself in camp.

i even got dao pok-ed by my friends and they almost did some really disgusting stuff, but i got really pissed and i kinda blew. it was really a bad day, and i still put on a smile whenever i can. all i expect and desire for my family is to be really cheerful and smily all the time, but if there're problems, they tend to just keep it to themselves. i come home, tired after a hard day's work, and the least they could do was to say, "oh you're back", rather than showing a black face.

i dont blame them for always telling me that i spend money all the time but the fact is that ive been really spending very little after i got my pedals. cant they just support me to do what i like. im not talking about financial support but its the emotional support that parents should give their kids. they just think that buying drums stuff and investing on good pedals, and selling my considered lousy ones are a waste of money. but its my passion that keeps me moving, idk what made them angry, is it me or is it another problem that i dont know of?

i dont want money or material things from my parents cos that's not gonna be there forever. id rather be in a really poor family and have really good family bonding. that's the most important to me. i may not show it cos i might not know how, so please forgive me. ive been having dinner with my parents almost everyday this week but when i eat with them, they dont talk and when i try to talk to them, all i get from them is either a black face or a one word reply or both.

i hope it'll be better tomorrow cos i'll be hanging out with them cos it's my bro's enlistment and my birthday. i managed to take half a day off but i gotta be back in camp by 1pm. last year's birthday was total shit and crap although it was my 21st. and i really hope this year would be good. im gonna have my annual routine dinner with my family at a nearby hawker centre but im really too tired to talk already. hope they'd understand.

sometimes i really get this feeling that staying at home alone, doing my own chores all the time and spending time alone with myself (even if its on my birthday) would be better than cohibiting with people around me. but what can i do? they're my family and i really cherish and love them a lot. cos they're the only ones that're gonna be there for you no matter what happens.

'i love you mom and dad.'


grateful for the lepak session!

okay its ten mins to the ping pong show so im gonna blog really fast.

ive received comments that my blog's too wordy. well its not really for pple to see lah, kinda for myself to blog. like a journal kinda thing. yeah whatever. im getting better after the medication i received on monday when i went to AH (alexandra hospital) i actually was already on the way to camp when i decided to report sick outside (RSO). cant do it too often lah, otherwise i'll get marked. lol. they gave me this spray thing that another doctor from kk hosp gave me last time. it works actually but i hope it actually lasts. i kena sinusitis infection, which i already knew all along, just that it got worse. ive been taking jef's bike almost everyday so i actually reach home in 6 mins lol. its a good thing lah.

today we actually dismantled the whole land rover. oh actually they dismantled the land rover while jonathan, haithir, din and i was there slacking. idk but i felt that that was a nice chat although it was quite a short one. oh if you consider one hour plus short (almost the time span for them to dismantle the rover, lol) we kinda talked about news and leading to lotsa stuff. lol news. really thank god for nice people in camp, although there're some pple that id avoid. i really treasure friends that are real friends.

really glad that emrye's moving on to the next level. we're gonna start to do originals after finishing some songs and perfecting them. currently, we're doing always by bonjovi, my heart by paramore then to accidentally in love by counting crows, zombie by the cranberries, and the last cover which audrey has not chosen yet. after that we're gonna record most of those songs in a recording studio. a band has to have at least a few doable covers. not totally originals.

idk why but ive been practising zombie and that songs really stuck in my head like all the time, literally in my head! was talking to jonathan about drumming. lol i was actually falling asleep cos i took my medication and felt really drowsy. like really sleepy but not tired lah. dont know why we came to that topic but he said he could play the recorder and edward thought it was the video recorder! lol. then he said that everyone can play that. you know, that "play" button. wha really communication breakdown.

i was actually talking to din and jonathan about music. and i realised that my drumming's moving towards the "funk" style already. slowly lah. once i master the rudiments im supposed to practise and do nice little paradiddle grooves, should be alright. its really important to breakdown every single note and groove or solo that you play for a song and et cetera. cos it allows you to know what youre actually playing, and in the long run, improve. thats why i reallly wanna go for theory lessons!

i think im late for the show so bye!

headache + flu = bad sunday.

alright i felt really sick yesterday at the chalet esp the ending part when i was going back with audrey. stomachache + flu and a little bit of headache. took 5 all the way to bukit merah then walked home, with my shit halfway coming out. went home, shat, took a quick bath and slept all the way till the next afternoon.

okay so now its sunday and i didnt even go to church, smsed aaron in the morning and told him that i really couldnt make it. bad throbbing headache and a nose tap that feels as if the boogle's coming out too fast for your nose. i really can differentiate between my sinus and flu. THIS IS FLU! fcnkg shit man. when will i get well? its already been 3 to 4 weeks. sigh today's a totally wasted day. i didnt even do anything cos i didnt even have the mood to. i was just at my com, facebooking the whole afternoon + evening. i dont wanna waste my life like this everyday. i need to do stuff man.

thank goodness im meeting aloysius soon, otherwise i can already feel that tmr's gonna be a really bad day. with morning runs, you'll bet the day will be bad. just a call from me and he's now coming to pick me man. he's really the best buddy ever. listening to my shit all the time. whining about money and anything under the sun. of course i listen to his whines all the time too man. heh, all his worthless whines.

haha thanks bud!

i really want to go back to where i came,
i dont want this to ever end,
things you thought were important to you,
could just fade away in an instant.

fill the void you took away
because no one can ever fill it right like you do.
love and hate lies on a very thin line.
a line that that comes and goes.

you'd have every reason to doubt human beings,
they're cunning and their conscience can one day be pricked.
but always remember, there can never be perfection, only contentment.
contentment is happiness.

one never knows how much he has
till he knows how much he has lost.
for what one has lost,
he will never never get it back the same way he could.


today was kinda eventful, so many things to talk about and im already feeling kinda tired now. i got two incentives from my superiors today which was like super unexpected! one, for getting a good grade in my test! and two, for donating blood. fyi, i didnt donate cos of the incentive!

everyone was kinda stressed and tensed up cos of the test this morning haha and we're all like trying to study and absorb as much as we can, trying to find ways to copy, writing down notes! so stressedd! but i at one corner down there relaxing talking cock with some of them. lol. and i did the test, thinking that i would fail, already preparing for RT. but i was fcuking shocked when i got a B for my test! which means not only did i get a pass, i got an incentive too! half day off! awesome! and for the blood donation, we waited hell long for it man. everyone asking me, "eh pain or not arh?" lol. i keep telling them that its super painful but actually its nothing at all, really.

met ph and audrey for sushi and sandwich making, and had a really weird day, with a lot of change in plans and the usual "aiyah shud have gone to do smth else!" haha. cos ph's hse was soooo hot and cramped, and there wasnt really much stuff there to use, and drey was saying that she has almost everything in her house. okay then we made nicccccee sushi. okay she made sushi and i made sandwich. its like super nice ok. im not kidding. it's in ph's refrigerator now. and ph is doing all the sai gang haha. but we need that kinda help all the time.

think after the sushi/sandwich making, we're all scared of eating sushi for like 3 days already. freaky man. imagine getting all full by just eating the ends of the sushi! bloated tummy man! then ph went to eat smth and i went back with drey.

and after getting home, i had a really super long chat with my dad (cos he just came back yest) for more than two hours and i realised something. to be good, you have to focus. it takes time and knowledge.

i told my dad about going over to perth and adapting there, learning music there. and everything seemed to be so vague now. the environment in sg is really not condusive for music, esp drumming. where hdb flats are all around. a tap on the table can taunt your neighbour to knock on your door, threatening to call the police.

i am very motivated by what he said although he was veeeeeeeeeeeery long winded. he is my dad after all right and i love him. since im like so tied down by being in ns and have so little time to practise, i should do more theory lessons on drumming. not just practising all day long but about learning as well, doing research on rudiments and experimenting and being creative. that's what music is all about. hey my dad was the one that told me that! it then sparked me that i should quickly go for drumming lessons and squeeze every single drop of brain juice from my teacher.

A. Staying in Singapore with Emrye and working for my music with a mediocre design career with my current dip. (EMRYE!!)

B. Going to Perth without Emrye and working for my music with a mediocre design career with my current dip. (more money after ten years compared to C)

C. Going to Perth without Emrye and working for my music with a bachelor's degree in graphic design after three years. (less money after ten years compared to B)

these are the possibilities that i have after dec next year. if i have to choose now i would choose C, which means i'll have to leave Emrye behind which would be a really hard thing to do! ): but till then im gonna learn drumming, really look into that instrument and going into details. ive gotta make use of my ns life. he also urged me to really do what i want and break away from the routine lifestyle that people are going thru now. to be good, you need time and knowledge. the ten years is a time where i can make money as well as learn music and drumming part time. my dreams are still on hold but not given up yet. after that ten years i'll be heading full steam ahead with music and drumming as my career.

but for now, during my 2 years here, i ought to do some thinking and lotsa practise and understanding. get the fundamentals right!

okay these are just thoughts and worth thinking about hahaha, i shall go practise now cos i really cant wait. fingers itchy! byebye!


pedals kicking in!

okay guys i dont want this blog to just die down after just a few days so im just gonna continue to blog about what happened this few days and about how i am/was feeling.

fyi i just got my dw 9002 and it really kicks ass! ive been like practising almost everyday when i have the time. kinda caused me to be poor and to spend like 5 dollars a week in camp but i thought that it was really worth it. it costs me 900bucks that could probably last me 2 months but im really scrimping on every single thing now. no more cabbing anymore, no more extra drinks, no more eating extra meals, no more taking extra trips on the mrt or bus. (oh i really love to take long bus rides, idk why but yeah, lol.) and im also trying to get rid of my yamaha FP 8215 single pedal, who wants to buy let me know okay! lol.

kinda crazy over steve gadd now. although ive played a few pieces before but that was just street drumming. which means everyone only plays one part of the drumset. like if youre positioned at the bass drum, you only play the bass part on a floor tom, et cetera. went to youtube and came across his solos, and he isnt a drum god for nothing man. just like dave weckl and vinnie colaiuta. their solos are killers i tell you!

im really anticipating to learn drums from jimmy again. but i really hope he's teaching otherwise ive to find another drum teacher. i wanna learn more about paradiddles, double paradiddles and bass drum and cymbal techniques. i kinda feel im stuck at where i am and i really need a gd teacher to lead me. but i need money for that too! which means i gotta wait for another few months before i can start lessons again. 

thinking about drums and bumming at home most of the time, ive not been studying for my tests and im having a final exam tmr! gosh i really hope i can pass, otherwise i have to come back for RT (remedial training). which is on a saturday! but i guess im quite prepared for it. its in the morning so i probably wouldnt have to worry about RT clashing with band practice at all. i've totally no interest in engineering stuff although the tests ive taken so far, ive passed them all, miraculously. haha. although this course has its advantages that at least you'll learn smth in your ns life, i cant find any motivation in studying man. it really feels going to school, all over again. to me really ns is a time to relax and not think about anything else but there're tests where you have to study, otherwise you have to stay back!

my love for riding is slowing coming back again! and i just realised that my course already expired! anyway, i dont really have a choice cos i really dont have the time and money for another extra commitment. i guess that'll have to wait too. an 8-5 vocation is good but really you also need the time to rest and sleep early when ure at home, otherwise you'll just die the next day and really fall sick easily. i really want to get a harley soooon! but i know that's like a really far off dream, since im really really really crazzy over music and i really wanna learn a lot more now. so music's the first at my priority list and of course, improving my drumming techniques and really hoping to improve really fast so i can do really cool songs with emrye!

sorry to soo many pple for putting you guys aside cos i really dont have time! two bands already asked me to drum for them but until now ive yet to give them an answer. sorry raihan, i dont know if i really have the time. being there everyweek is not the main problem but its about commitment and spending your weekdays practising. ive already turned down aminah quite a number of times but i really am interested in working, that'll have to be put aside too, till maybe a few weeks later. i really need to find time!

the guys are coming over to my place tmr (friday) to make sushi and sandwich for corrinne's birthday celebration this saturday. i really bet my house's gonna be in a huge mess, so i hope my mom wont freak out! my dad's coming back tonight so i guess that's making me worry slightly lesser. saturday's gonna be damn cool and i hope it wont be spoiled by me failing tmr's test and so having to come back for RT this saturday. im hoping for the best but preparing for the worst at the same time!

ive gotta study hard and practise hard at the same time!

till next time!


that's a lot for love.

hmm i only have like a while to blog so i shall make this a fast one.

i actually think im gonna be crazy over facebook now :/ cos we're like so bored in class, given our own free time to do our own stuff, so we use facebook lor. quizzes and quizzes all over again until we're sick of it, seriously.

As i was taking a bus yesterday on the way to meet caroline, i felt introspective, i started to reminisce. i'm not being emo here or whatsoever but i suddenly thought of it and we talked about april being a v eventful month. so many things in the past that happened, and just with a snap of a finger, it's over. life goes on whether you want it or not.

sometimes going thru a hurdle of bad events alone might be hard, that's why we do need pple around us. ive learnt to be alone, to be independent, but nobody in this world can work alone. we need friends around us to spur us on. i thought of this conversation also with audrey and ph that day at mac. we were saying that ph and i are pple that goes shopping alone, does stuff alone. but personally i feel, doing things alone doesnt mean you're a loner. it just probably means you're independant. it reminds me of this song by bonjovi, "livin' on a prayer".

'we've got each other and that's a lot for love.'

bonjovi's songs are really very encouraging to me, it puts me through almost anything. small hurdles, big ones. i really live on this saying that, "whatever that doesnt kill you, will make you stronger." but now, life has been good to me. a nice stay-out unit, a great band, nice friends and family around me and a great church to call home. why give them a lousy me? i thought of that during my bmt days. cos that's where you'd do most of your self-evaluating. slowly i picked myself up, piece by piece, and slowly the pictures become clearer and clearer, on what i should be, what i should become. there isnt time for all the emoing and all those childish nonsense anymore. it's time to be a man to think right and do right.

okay let's snap back to reality. tmr's gd friday! and its a public holiday which means no camp! and im gonna be $900 dollars poorer. oh someone pls help me. would you like to donate to the "joachim-is-poor-fund" okay i would understand if you're poor too.

did some recording just now again and i kinda half-killed my fingers. think i killed my poor macbook too. it kinda heard my crowy singing for the past few hours. i really need money to do a lot of things like, go for drum lessons again, pick up acoustic guitar and i even promised to treat the band on my birthday but i guess that'll have to wait till im a little bit richer. sorry guys!

alright. i think that's about it for today. happy easter! :)

the best one, yet!

spent the week alone most of the time, running errands and spending money too! gosh. which means i have to start saving and eating really less, so i can deflate my tummy also.

this saturday, jamming was on as usual and we met like earlier to hang out and chill.

it was really funny that day after we did our usual song, we realised that it was already quite tight and complete so we decided, impromptu-ly, to change the set up of the band haha. it was during a five mins break that we swopped places and it was really fun! peter sang, i mean screamed, for almost all the song that he sang, haha he's just so cute lah. although he said he didnt practise much but his solo was already exceeding our expectations. well done peter! :)

then i was discussing with ph about the band and i'm really proud of emrye, we're so much tighter now, musically and in terms of the bond together also. to play "my heart" without any practise or discussion, and to do it that tight, was really a great feat for us already. really proud of you guys! and after jamming, was just a hang out session with ph and audrey.

man, no more ice creams for me plsss! stomachache + it's $8.90 per cup! :/

was supposed to meet up with ph and audrey on sunday after church but audrey fell sick (oops), so it was just ph and i. he got his bass guit at guitar theme and guess what, i came across the dw 9000! killer pedals i tell you! it costs 900 bucks! and im seriously dying to get it. shud probably get it by this week, i hope!

i'm seriously hoping to pick up double paddling by this year, go for drum lessons, and guitar lessons also, which means i really need cash! and the blardddyy saf is only giving me 400 a mth, where got enough? i really need to reduce my expenses everyday, i dont know how thats gonna happen but it will.

kenneth: 'musicians are always rich!'
joachim: "no! muscians are always poor because they are musicians!'

how true is that man? okay now back to lesson.